The Ultimate Wine and Peeps Pairing

The GOAT Easter candy meets the only wine that could possibly pair.

Easter is almost upon us, and I will brook no argument on this point: Peeps are the GOAT when it comes to Easter candy.

Full. Stop.

Their sandy, sugar-speckled outsides; that fluffy mouthfeel followed by a slight chew; those brilliantly simple, cartoon shapes. And the COLORS!

So many colors to choose from!

Beyond colors, there is a wide array of flavors and flavor combinations: caramel apple, cookies and cream, cinnamon churro, Blue Raspberry Icee, Rice Krispies Treats, sour strawberry, s'mores, kettle corn, Dr. Pepper (no, really), and cotton candy (okay, that last one is less of a flavor and more a description of what all Peeps taste like.)

I have long loved Peeps. I have also long loved candy corn and circus peanuts so...I may just be a mallow-head, marsh or otherwise.

And look: I know that every year wine peeps (intentional!) trot out wine-and-whatever candy pairings for these candy-centric holidays. And yes: I know we're sick of them. And yes: I know they're usually stupid.

But this particular pairing is ONLY for the GOAT.

It's ONLY for PEEPS.

And better yet - there is one, single wine that pairs with ALL OF THEM. It doesn't matter what the ostensible flavor is. It doesn't matter the shape, the ever-so-slightly different texture on the outside. That factory-made marshmallow center, always with an undercurrent of cheep (see what I did there? Validate me.) vanilla extract, and a slightly topographical exterior. It all works with just one pairing.

So ignore all those Easter candy-and-wine-pairing articles which are complete and utter wastes of time. Except this one. The one that matters.

Now let's meet our wine, the ultimate pairing with any and all Peeps.

(drumroll maestro please...)

NOTHING. You Complete and Utter Weirdos. They're PEEPS. Do Not Pair Wine With Them. Do Not Even Eat Them. Have a Nice Sunday Roast and Drink a Goddamn Chablis Followed By a Napa Cab Followed By a Port or Cream Sherry And Then Sleep Off This Bizarre Infatuation With Wine And Candy Pairings. You WEIRDOS.

(Though Akschually…)

I was able to try these Dr. Pepper Peeps for the first time this year. And I gotta say: they’d actually pair beautifully with a sweet Vermouth or Amaro.

Much like those herb-and-bark-soaked drinks, Dr. Pepper is flavored with “a proprietary combination of 23 flavors”. The American FDA has ruled that Dr. Pepper is not a cola, nor a root beer, nor a fruit-flavored soft drink, but instead a fourth category that was created and named just for it: “pepper soda”. (A category that now also includes Dublin Original and Pibb Xtra.)

Something like Carpano Antica Formula Sweet Vermouth - a combination of of vanilla, wormwood (“vermvut”, hence the name “vermouth”), burnt sugar, and saffron alongside additional botanicals and dried fruits would match this Dr. Pepper-flavored Peep perfectly. And the sweetness would match as well!

You know…in case you really wanted to try a “Wine and Peeps pairing” and were bummed that we weren’t being remotely serious. Let us know if you’re still alive how it goes!