Wine and Comics (Halloween Edition): Fuck This Place + Do Epic Shit Red Blend
A horror sub-genre all-in-one that is, believe it or not, about love and togetherness conquering all. Paired with some Epic Shit.
Fuck This Place (or alternately published under the PG-13 title - “I Hate This Place”, you have the option to purchase either version and you better believe I chose the “Unrated”. It’s a fucking horror comic!) is a 10-issue comic series, or 2-volume collected graphic novel series, that somehow manages to mash together every major horror subgenre into one organic story.
It’s not an anthology. It’s not offering up a different genre each issue. Nothing so simple. Instead, impressively, it’s a story wherein the concept allows all these genres to nestle Russian-nesting-doll-style within each other, until you may not even notice what an insane mashup it is until you’re deep within.
Two women, Gabby and Trudy, inherit a ranch out in the middle of nowhere and plan to start the next phase of their lives together. Unfortunately, the ranch is haunted, and once a new owner arrives, they aren’t allowed to EVER leave!
Gabby’s Aunt, who peviously owned the ranch, leaves a video explaining the situation to the girls: no leaving the house after sundown; never go into the woods; and if you see the Horned Man, RUN. The girls experience the ghosts on their very first night, and quickly hire a ghost hunter / excorcist. But here’s the kicker: the ghosts aren’t just ghosts, and deeper into the woods reside actual monsters!
And here’s the kicker to the kicker to the kicker: Trudy’s family soon arrives in proper TEXAS CHAINSAW / THE HILLS HAVE EYES fashion; then a criminal murders his accomplices and is out to find the money he believes is buried on the ranch somewhere; and then soldiers from the future arrive to stave off a cataclysm that supposedly begins on this ranch, and is triggered by something Gabby and Trudy do with the ghosts and monsters, all of which will reveal a single origin to all of these phenomenon.
So: haunted house, ghosthunter, monster movie, sci-fi time travel, survival horror, crazy (cannibal-style) family, slasher, crime thriller, and even an alien invasion are all a part of this horror opus. And it never feels forced! Every issue you think you have a handle on where this series is heading, only to have it do a 180 yet you don’t feel the torque.
Writer Kyle Starks weaves together all these disparate elements into a natural flow. While he does not shy from the gruesome or the fatal, there’s also an obvious beating heart to his story here: Gabby and Trudy.
The couple are dedicated to each other. They are in it to win it, “it” being a life of loyalty and support to the other. At no point does either so much as feint an “I’m outta here”. While they say “fuck this place” plenty, never is it followed by an exit without the other holding tight to them. One is a fighter, one is a lover, but both learn to embrace the strengths of the other to meet halfway and survive. And it isn’t just the girls: all the characters in Fuck This Place either band together in authentic caring for one another or they suffer a dire fate. They become villains or monsters, are picked off when they’re acting on thier own. The people from the future care only for their mission, not their fellows’ survival.
And throughout it all the message is clear: there are many horrors in this world, and we only overcome them when we face them together, in unity.
You’ll note the art by Artyom Topilin, the sole illustrator of the comic. It’s quite the feat to find someone who can feel at home drawing so many different types of horror in one single story, and he nails them all. His style is a kind of crossroad between the punk cartooning of Paul Pope and the grim satirical etchings of Howard Chaykin. It offers emotion, action, and horror - severity and empathy, all in one go.
Paired with…
I’ve long enjoyed the Browne family of wines - some of the better expressions of bigger brand juice out there. The recently launched their “Do Epic Shit” line to appeal to Gen Z’ers and apparently it’s working! They love the suggestion, and the irreverency, and so do I. Hell, I bought a comic titled “Fuck This Place”, so of course I do.
Curiously, Browne chose to print the name “Do Epic Sh*t” on all their bottles - the whites, the Cabernet, the vodka, the whiskey, but not…the Red Blend.
For whatever reason, the Red Blend alone recieved the coveted non-asterisked “DO EPIC SHIT.” in Trumpian gold.
The joy of this blend is that it’s widely available - in many Targets, Total Wines, and more. I tried the 2021 which is a Paso Robles based, Zinfandel heavy blend. Specs on this wine are hard to come by, unfortunately - every website seems to list contradictory info. The 2019 was Washington based, which switched to Paso by 2021, and the latest 2022 is alternatingly listed as Paso or Washington, with the listed grapes in the blend changing on every damn site.
BROWNE. Please send all these places proper tech sheets, wouldja?
But I digress. Whichever vintage you find, I think this blend will always be going for a medium-acid bramble fruit red with integrated tannins. The Paso/Zin version I supped was well-balanced, just bright enough, just fruity enough, not too sweet on the palate, and excellent wet wood and spice notes from the oak. It had a delicacy that the younger generations are looking for in wine, while retaining just enough punch to still earn its name and pair with the wild horror yarn of the comic.
And of course, a harmonious blend is just what you need for a story about blending with other humans.
Happy Halloween, everyone! Drink well, read a great horror comic like this one, and I’ll see y’all in November.