Wine and Movie Pairing: SHAOLIN SOCCER (2001)
Plus ORANGE Loureiro from Portugal! Two unique cultural expressions of comedy and wine.
I was never a fan of SHAOLIN SOCCER.
I can't recall if I'd seen Stephen Chow's GOD OF COOKERY first, though I'm not sure I would have realized it was the same star/director/comedian in any event. What I do recall is that I adored God of Cookery - I was infatuated with the Chinese IRON WOK JAN manga at the time, a manga that seemed like it was the basis for GoC, but wasn't. (GoC was just a parody of the Chow Yun-Fat hit, GOD OF GAMBLERS.)
Anywho, I later came to adore KUNG FU HUSTLE, a movie that cemented in my head who Stephen Chow was, and I've never looked back in my love for his style ever since.



Which is funny, because Chow starred in almost 60 films and wrote/directed 4 feature films prior to Shaolin Soccer. But SS, then, proved to be the comedian's near-apotheosis - bringing his love for martial arts, Bruce Lee, and HK-flavored parody together for the first time. This would quickly be followed by his definitive opus and creative apex, KUNG FU HUSTLE, three years later. And then…mostly nada, after that.
Chow only directed and starred in one more film, the family friendly sci-fi kids flick, C17 in 2008, after which he would largely bow out of acting all-together. And his pure directing efforts took long hiatuses - 2013's JOURNEY TO THE WEST, 2016's THE MERMAID, and 2019's THE NEW KING OF COMEDY being his only new works in over a decade.
I've since poured through Chow's massive back catalogue of comedies, most of which I've enjoyed if not adored.
An yet...I never went back to rewatch SHAOLIN SOCCER. Until now.
Back in 2001, Shaolin Soccer was a movie thrust upon the American public by the Weinsteins, much as CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON was, or the innumerable Jet Li travesties we willed into being with money and little other understanding of the talent on display. I was still a neophyte in my HK viewing; I had just figured out why Jackie Chan and Jet Li were cool, and so I wanted more of that, more of the same.
Instead, I saw Shaolin Soccer and got janky CGI, deadpan humor, whacked-out wire-fu, and I doubt that I (yet) had the context to truly appreciate most of it. I'm somewhat shocked so much of America did, or didn't need it and just adored the wacky hijinks and unique (to us) subject matter.
But revisiting Shaolin Soccer roughly a quarter of a century later, and this movie really holds up. The "janky" CGI meshes perfectly with the cartoon shenanigans. The soccer matches are beautifully realized with real storytelling and character development beats. Action choreography is by Tony Ching Siu-Tung - the man who popularized whacked-out wire-fu wuxia of the 80's and 90's with Swordsman I-III, Duel to the Death, A Chinese Ghost Story, and more - he made fantasy wire-fu jankiness work. And I can now see how meticulously put together the whole design of Shaolin Soccer is.
(Just do me a favor and don’t watch the dubbed version like the above. Don’t be a lazy luddite American and instead turn on subtitles and listen to the original performances in Chinese like fully realized people who can walk and chew gum. Danke.)
The actors are likewise perfectly cast and know how to deliver Chow's style of comedy. There's an outtake during the end credits, an alternative line reading of a scene where Tenky Tin Kai-Man (the guy with the iron stomach) cell phone calls a woman to tell her he loves her before possibly being obliterated by a superhuman kick from the rival team. In the alt take, he professes his love, but then a man replies. Tenky, unfazed, deadpan, says "Oh, sorry, well please pass that message on to your wife, bye." He then hangs up and faces forward to meet his fate. Genius.
On a slightly downer note, I thought Vicki Zhao Wei as Mui was on the team more, and not a last minute addition near the very end! Which is a shame because she is SO. GOOD. She really gets to shine in a scene where she "Glamour Shots" herself up, perm, doll-like makeup, neon feminine clothing, the whole 80's 9 yards (wrong football reference, but still.) It's made to look outlandish, and the guys all kind of make fun of her until she snaps. Then her boss shows up and starts wailing into her as well until Mui, one-handed, without looking, fends off all her boss' attacks in a single take then sends boss sailing off the screen. The guys cheer; she whips a glare at them; they quiet down. And a minute later Stephen Chow freaking FRIENDZONES HER.
I do appreciate that Chow allows his character to be somewhat as a self-involved ass on the romance front, barely redeemed by the end.
I also appreciate that he isn't the grand hero of the team but rather Mui is, and then the team as a team. This is sports drama done right, y'all.
I'm currently watching the 2017 SOCCER KILLER flick directed by a feller named Jeffrey Lau, who has been making impenetrable mash-up comedies for local mainland audiences for decades, and SK is no different. It takes place in feudal China and kingdoms settle disputes with soccer matches and the evil team consists of the X-Men and Avengers (no, I'm not kidding, it's literally the characters from the Marvel movies, I guess cuz Disney is the "evil kingdom"?) And that's the whole joke - the Marvel characters are just there. And don't even get me started on the stabs at gender comedy.
This makes you appreciate a film like SHAOLIN SOCCER all the more - a film that utilizes and celebrates culturally specific influences yet crafts humor and drama that somehow transcends cultural boundaries. All in all, Shaolin Soccer is one of the most unique, clever, funny, and authentically nail-biting sportsball movies ever made.
And Drink With It….
Tiago Teles Raiz Branco Loureiro 2022, Bairrada, Portugal
We recently had fellow wine Substacker
on our podcast where she paired a unique Portuguese Loureiro with the electronic tango album, La Revancha del Tango by Gotan Project. Which, if you've never heard, you are in for a treat. Don't let the words "electronic tango" fool you, this music fires on every level, somehow, it's magic.Her Loureiro was slightly aged before release - something most Loureiro producers do not do, but rather release it young and fresh and never touching oak. (“Touching Oak” is so the name of a future band, just sayin’.)
Well, recently
and myself were in a local LA wine bar, Tabula Rasa, where we stumbled upon an ORANGE Loureiro!Tiago Teles Raiz Branco Loureiro 2022, Bairrada, Portugal
This bad boy is macerated for 3 months on the skins in cement tanks, minimal intervention, spontaneous fermentation "natural wine" style, then 11 months soaking on its lees. And much like Shaolin Soccer, it is a mash-up of flavors in the glass that somehow work in harmony.
The color is deep, the flavors intense, it reminded me, of all things, of a dry/unsweet Tokaji! The acidity is in balance with the course tannins, and the flavors are all honeyed, apricot, citrus and sherry-like nut notes with a hint of natural wine eccentricity.
Shaolin Soccer is such a bright, lively, acerbic comedy, and on a superficial level, let's face it, the damn movie is very *orange*. It has depth, weight, let never loses it's cheeky buoyancy. But it's also a rare comedy from a country whose comedies rarely translate. For all of these reasons, nabbing yourself an Orange Loureiro, the 2022 Tiago Teles Raiz Branco, is a chef's kiss pairing.
Dive into unique expressions from two different cultures that seemingly blend too much into something just right.
Tabula Rosa is fantastic. Try out Augustine!
I do love Shaolin Soccer.
But this is the first I've heard of SOCCER KILLER and I think I have a headache because of how quick my antennae went up.
Fromtheyardtothearthouse.substack.com