Wine Conversations: Wine in Restaurants… And Beyond! (IV)

Communication is Key, and Wine By the Glass is the Future.

Maria Banson

kicked this Conversation off by chronicling how much goes into even the most casual wine service. All the unspoken observations, quick calculations, behind-the-scenes maneuvering to get people what they want as quickly as smoothly as possible.

Wine Conversations: Wine in Restaurants… And Beyond! (I)

There are two points in specific that Maria made which I’d like to expand upon:

"The ideal wine professional is someone who can understand the role that tannins play in the structure of wine, but have the emotional intelligence to omit that word from conversations with a guest who would have big question marks over their head if they heard the word “tannins”. (I’m very reluctant to talk about tannins in Wine and Movie Pairings, where a lot of people with wildly varying wine experience read my descriptions for specific wines, but for more technically oriented wine articles like this? It becomes a vital part of the conversation.)"

This is a point I actually differ with Maria on - I think the structure of a wine is in fact more important to communicate than any other element. It's true, consumers are not programmed to think about wine in this manner, certainly not before flavor and aromatic notes. But flavor and aroma can differ wildly between any two palates. We know this, yet adhere to these talking points as THE talking points.

But in my experience, it's more useful to use words such as…maybe not "tannins", maybe not "acidity", most people do not actually know what these are….but "bright, lively, fresh" or "bolder, rustic, 'drier' (which is what most people say to refer to elevated tannin levels), silky, smooth, tangy, sweet, etc." These tend to be more objective, less subjective, even if it's not always possible in the rush of the moment in a place of service.

The more we can introduce these descriptors and the experience of them, the closer we'll get to communicate more objectively with consumers.

Another point Maria made, and this is one I am in full support of:

"Time and again, wine service professionals have proven to be wise beyond public recognition. Tip your sommeliers!"

I left a comment on Maria's post about how a Swedish man came to my tasting room, I gave him extra TLC, he absolutely adored the experience of our wine blending class, and then…he was the only one who did not leave a tip at the end.

I know America's dependance on tips to keep food and beverage service people above the poverty line is out of step with the rest of the world. But ask yourself this: if you were to travel to any other country, would you be sensitive to the local customs? Would you want to adhere to them if you knew them? And if so, why do we not care when it's America in specific we're talking about?

Yes, we are the worst tourists. Right now especially, our government is risably bad, effortless to hate. But don't take any of that out on service people, some of the least wealthy, least powerful, and least supported jobs in the country.

After Maria,

Stacey Midge

wrote a brilliant follow-up from a consumer's POV, stressing the need to get to know every customer, to never assume, read the room, be curious about the individual as a person, adapt the service and how you interact with them based on what they are plainly telling you. Caring more about them than yourself is critical:

Wine Conversations: Wine in Restaurants… And Beyond! (II)

On this point I fully agree, and want to take it a touch further! But I also have to rope in a few points

George Nordahl

added in the third entry of this Conversation:

Wine Conversations: Wine in Restaurants... And Beyond! (III)

George summed things up beautifully with:

"Everyone is different, and that, along with the wondrous complexity of wine and the stories behind it all, is what makes wine service such a unique thing. It is also what makes it very difficult to do right."

That said, George then listed some of his "pet peeves" in terms of wine service. Naturally, his comments thread soon filled up with many others' pet peeves - we do love to share the things that annoy us but which we rarely talk about!

But “rarely talk about” hints at the notable thing about these peeves - how different everyone was, and yet how part of the "peeve" was that they had to TELL their server or sommelier what they wanted if they ever wanted to get it.

George had the POV of: "Please don't pour my wine for me", something most establishments don't even let their servers decide. A customer can request it, but the server can't just choose not to pour on their own steam. George also mentioned "don't upsell me" (understandable, but then he also included) "or tell me about something else I might have missed on the menu. You don’t know the rationale behind my choice."

Oof. That last part is true, but that might be why it's a good idea to at least mention another option. In my experience as a server - hell, in my experience as a diner going out with friends - most people do not thoroughly review the menu. Especially if I'm excited about a particular wine that's been added and everything about the customer screams that they might share that passion with me, I think it's important to at least mention it.

More to the point, in the comments section of George's post, regular Wine Conversations contributor

Kate Reuschel

mentioned how she always wants the bottle opened away from her table, something I know that 95% of Americans definitely do not agree with! The VinePair Podcast crew constantly bemoan how the bottle should aways be opened in full view of the customer. Let them know it's freshly opened, and no large sips have already been taken to "taste test" it.

Another previous Wine Conversations contributor,

Simon J Woolf

, mentioned:

"I particularly love it when a somm explains what orange wine is to me. I just sit quietly and nod, before pointedly ordering something completely different to what they recommended."

The thing that seems to connect all these various peeves is: unspoken preferences, or unspoken knowledge.

Yes, any good server or somm should "read the room", I agree with that. And I have no doubt there are certain situations where the behavior of the server/somm was bad regardless of what was or wasn't said.

But let's talk about the elephant in the room here.

Service is a Conversation and a Relationship

It’s two humans, trying to communicate to achieve a common goal. But like all human relationships, if one side refuses to communicate, it's going to be dysfunctional.

I thought you said you understood what I didn’t say.

We get weird when it comes to service. We understand what's necessary in a romantic relationship, in a shared housing relationship, in a host/guest relationship, teacher/student, employer/employee, co-workers, etc. Yet somehow, we demand service become something essentially impossible: perfectly one sided.

The server must read the room, understand your personality, history, preferences, pet peeves, even if they only met you 5 minutes ago. We’re annoyed if we have to request anything whatsoever, spell anything out, if we have to communicate in turn.

But the best service will always occur when we do.

At the very least, it will then be up to the server to succeed or fail on their own merits. But to communicate as little as possible - when you have the ability and understanding to communicate more - this is not the failing of any server or somm.

At some point, our pet peeves, if unspoken, are simply childish and silly - we must communicate what we want as a consumer clearly and with self-awareness of what it is we're asking for in terms of what it might entail for any establishment to execute. Recognize how special or not special any request is. Then take partial responsibility for gambling that it can be done to your satisfaction especially if there is no structure or common practice for it at the establishment you're in.

At the end of the day, the relationship between a customer and a service professional is like any other human relationship - if one side isn't communicating, it won't function well. The moment one side believes their wants are so obvious that the other side should be a mind reader, the experience is likely going to crumble.

If you took most servers and most customers, sat them in a marriage counselor’s office and explained the moment of "terrible service", I'd guess that counselor would clock who the problem is right away. And it's likely not the server.

The Future of Wine Service is By the Glass

As a final addendum, I wanted to talk about how important I think "by the glass" service is going to be - or must be - in order for wine to thrive in the wine bar or restaurant scene going forward.

Outside of a rarefied few, most people are currently living in a world with soaring costs of living, lower levels of disposable income, and wine being a luxury product. But we are also living in an era with more wines, more indigenous grapes, more styles, more imports and exports than every before, all ostensibly available to consumers.

We need consumers to be excited by the possibilities now available to them, by the sheer variety at their fingertips. Or rather, we need to put them at their fingertips - there are few better ways, in my experience, to make someone curious and interested in wine beyond a single purchase, a single celebratory evening, that to expose them to variety. And there is almost no natural way to allow consumers to vary their wine consumption than the ability to pour them tastes, and serve by the glass.

If a business is currently set up to offer minimal by the glass wines, and/or cannot pour tastes prior to commitment, this does a disservice to the future of wine consumption in nearly every way imaginable. People cannot freely expose themselves to anything new, and cannot affordably commit to more than one wine per evening.

There is a wine bar in Los Angeles - Agustine - that even does OLD WINE BY THE GLASS. In fact, they offer it by the glass, half glass, and even quarter glass!!!

Vintage wine by the glass at Agustine. The bottles with a little circle by the vintage date is already opened. You can buy any by the glass, half glass, or quarter glass!

These wines will only be opened if you commit to minimum 2 full glasses up front. But even here you don’t have to buy the whole bottle!

In most cases, they won't open an old bottle unless someone / a table commits to a minimum of 2 glasses. And then they bet they can sell the rest in glasses or partial glasses while it’s still good. This means any consumer can experience a 1986 Margaux or 1992 Australian Shiraz or 2002 Bourgogne Blanc for a price they can afford. $50 per glass? Or $25 per half glass? Or $12.50 per quarter glass? It's marvelous. And the craziest thing is how it seems so crazy and out-of-the-box.

But this should be the standard. I'm calling it now. It's okay to have those few true-blue treasures that are far too pricey per bottle to offer this. But most of any wine bar or restaurant's wine list should be available for all to try, with only certain limitations/rules.

As somms and servers, we should be stoking the flames of curiosity and new experiences. Certainly, some drinkers are set in their ways and that's all good. Reading the room still pertains. But here’s to finding better ways to serve wine going forward, that reflects the current wine universe that exists, and isn’t predicated on how wine was served and enjoyed once upon a very long time ago, when the global wine industry looked very, very different.

Look for Part 5 of this conversation coming later this week from

Corinne Kovalsky

!