Last December, while recording a different episode for this podcast, Dallas and myself discovered that we both had fond memories of a movie titled (ridiculously, but also awesomely) "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” starring Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu. We’d both seen it in the theater back in 2002, and…never again since.
That’s partly due to the movie largely being unavilable due to rights issues, but mostly because it has the LOWEST RATING OF ANY MOVIE EVER ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!! That’s right, with 119 professional reviews, that is the highest number of total reviews while still maintaining a splat-tastic 0%.
So we were scared. Did we want to ruin this childhood memory? (By “childhood” I mean young adulthood, but you get what we’re saying.)
Well, then returning special guest (from our MIRACLE MILE episode) Nicholas Langdon took interest in joining us if we ever covered it on the pod, and we said eff it, let’s do it. Let find out:
The answer may surprise you. Listen up above or on your podcast platform of choice, just search “Vintertainment”.
Follow Nick on LETTERBOXD and you can even join us as you like on our shared LB weekly film club, THE COLLAB.
The Wines
Dallas’ Pairing
This film initially made me want to lean into something bright and vibrant and confusing - perhaps something like a fortified or a Mulled wine.
In many ways, this film is absurd, but I still believe that at its core it is a satisfying romp of absurdity with some authentic heart. The action is practical and ground level but also big and bold and brash. This film holds up in terms of its spectacle and pure entertainment. If you are looking for much more than that, then I would look elsewhere. But the film is still quite enjoyable.
So I opted instead for something bloodier, bolder.
The film isn’t terribly deep which means it has space to be complimented by a wine that is a bit deep. The film (to me) has aged steadily, is still enjoyable for all the reasons it was originally enjoyable. So a wine that ages well is likely a consideration.
The film is intense but also feels oddly balanced in its own WTF way.
There is also lots of acid in it, as it agitates and can often leave a bad taste or texture in the mouth for some. And not unlike the notes and flavors you’d find in a good mulled wine, this wine also presents plum notes, black berry, blueberry and subtle spice.
I went with the Precision Napa Cab. Deep but also good astringency and acidity that balances. Like the movie, this is an enjoyable Napa Cab that is no award winner, nothing life-changing but purely and simply enjoyable. Made from fruit sourced throughout Napa, Sonoma, and it’s outlying areas like Lake County, this is an affordable entry level Cali Cab and priced accordingly ($15 - $30.)
Nick’s Pairing
Like Dallas, Nick went with an easily enjoyable, affordable, deep red; and like Dave he went with something maligned, only not a malignedd grape, but a aligned container!
St Hallett Faith Shiraz “Bagnum” - a 1.5 liter bagged wine! One of Australia’s contrinbutions to the world of wine was the “cask wine” or cardboard boxed wine. Also referred to as “goon” in Australia, cheap cask wine or “cheap goon” is a heavily maligned type of wine (look up “Goon of Fortune” for the drinking game associated with it!), thought this St. Hallet is a tastier, more modern equivalent inside a bag with a turn-on/off tap attached. Claiming to “stay Fresh up to 30 Days After Opening!”
Nick noticed a slight metallic tang to the wine when first opened, when first poured, but that went away quickly after, suggesting the wine needed a touch of breathing - sometimes a wine can be too well preserved and too fresh!
Dave’s Pairing
I think there are a number of wines that could fit the bill for BALLISTIC. Something maligned by wine snobs, considered “bad”, rarely great or complex as a wine.
There are grapes like two of my favorites - Sauvignon Blanc as a white grape, that when grown outside of France gets wine snobs to turn their nose up at it. Pinotage and Petite Sirah for reds. I actually drank a Petite Sirah while recording this episode, and did while watching the movie as it truly is a great pairing - Petite Sirah is a thick skinned, dark grape that makes bold, ink-black wines with an intensity of fruit, tannins, bittersweetness, it ages beautifully and can develop tobacco and earthy aromas and flavors, AND California and Australia are the two places that make the lion’s share of the world’s Petite Sirah.
Cali makes 80% of the world’s Petite Sirah with Australia and Israel being the next two major contributors. It’s called “Durif” down under - that was the wine trivia question of the week the last time Nick was on for the Miracle Mile episode - and most of California’s Petite Sirah has been genetically traced back to Durif strains direct from Australia. So this is a grape we share a lot in common with and almost no one else, even though the dumb thing originally came from France. So if you want to go find a Petite Sirah or Durif, I’m not gonna stop you, that would be fantastic and pair beautifully with this movie.
BUT…I think there’s an easier wine to get your hands on, and one that leans more heavily into the hedonistic element of the film.
Let’s talk ZINFANDEL.
You could do a Cali Zinfandel, and that would work well. Turley out of Paso Robles is known for some of the best Zinfandel in the world though they have price points to prove it. Nothing crazy, but we’re talking $40-60 per bottle.
But I think you go Old World, you do Italian Zinfandel, which they call “Primitivo”. Primarily grown in Puglia, find a Puglia Primitivo - fruity, ripe, slightly herbaceous as most old world wines tend to be, likely higher in ABV, and there’s a way to take this to the next level.
Trader Joe’s has a Puglia Primitivo that’s “Appassimento” style, meaning partially dehydrated or raisined grapes. Thai concentrates the flavors and sugars for an even RIPER, JAMMIER, BOLDER, and HIGHER ABV than normal Primitivo! Patroferno Appassimento Puglia Primitivo for $13.99 at Trader Joe’s and clocks in at 15% ABV.
It’s hedonism in a glass as far as fine red wine goes. It is style AS substance. And that is without question my perfect pairing for Ecks vs. Sever.
Have you ever seen ECKS VS. SEVER? Are you going to try to see it now?
