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Make sure you check out PART 1 of this looney tunes podcast before jumping into this one!
Okay, ready?
Special guest Decarceration (who writes the incredible From the Yard to the Arthouse) wanted to talk to us about Fake Movies Within Movies, and gave us a list of 11 of them. We covered the first five last week, now strap in for the final six!
The Pairing Concept for This Episode
Faced with a laundry list of fake movies within movies, we had to incorporate it into our podcast by seeking out fake drinks that are also from within movies. At least originally: some have been made in the real world since their fictional imagineering.
We cover the first 5 Pairings in Part 1. The remaining 6 are now featured below!
Note: you can find most of these movies-within-movies at NESTFLIX.FUN
You can also listed to this episode on your preferred platform - Apple, Spotify, Amazon, YouTube, you name it.
The Fake Movie and Fake Drinks of PART 2
Jack Slater III and IV (from Last Action Hero)
-paired with-
Hice Pale Ale (from Final Destination franchise)
Last Action Hero is possibly the most meta movie ever made: Arnold Schwarzenegger plays himself playing the fictional character “Jack Slater” in a fictional franchise of films within the Last Action Hero universe. But turns out, Slater exists within his own fictional cinematic universe and travels into the “real” Last Action Hero universe where Arnold Schwarzenegger plays both himself and Slater and we watch it all with Schwarzenegger also existing within our own REAL world watching himself play himself play Slater who at the very end then winks at both the little kid actor in the Last Action Hero universe and us in the real world right at the end. Don’t…think too hard on that.
But the Jack Slater films are pure cheese, pure 80’/90's action Americana, little ut one liners, poses, and a world of black and white with an action hero that cannot lose or die. As such, I paired these Jack Slater films with Hice Pale Ale - the beer that makes an appearance in every Final Destination movie. Let’s face it: Jack Slater would drink a pale ale, and he’s the same unstoppable, uncompromising force that death itself is in Final Destination!
Metalstorm (from The Fall Guy)
-paired with-
Elsinore Beer (mind control beer, from Strange Brew)
In The Fall Guy, Emily Blunt plays an first time director (supposedly an “auteur”) whose passion project is about as Zack Snyder as they come - METALSTORM!
But 2 Fun Facts:
The Fall Guy is a (loose) remake of a TV show from the 80’s.
Metalstorm is also a (loose) remake of a low-budget sci-fi feature from 1983, directed and written by schlockmeister Charles Band! (Puppet Master, Trancers, Demonic Toys.) That film was titled Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn and is indeed a real movie, with the same logline/plot as the Metalstorm in Fall Guy. Hmmmm.
We’ve never seen the real Metalstorm, but we paired the fake Metalstorm remake with Elsinore Beer - a beer made to controlt he minds of the populace that drinks it. And you’d have to be mind controlled to want to watch this Snyder bro bullshit, no matter that it was inexplicably directed by a woman and had actual record breaking stuntwork.
Graveyard Disturbance (aka Una Notte al Cimitero from Demons)
-paired with-
Nectar of 1000 Sorrows (Red Wine + Root Beer, from Parks & Rec)
In the now-classic horror movie Demons, which takes place almost entirely within a movie theater, there is an un-titled movie playing that kickstarts events. The following year, the same director of Demons, Lamberto Bava, directed a TV movie that was essentially a full version of the fake version shown in Demons. It was titled Una Notte al Cimitero and “Graveyard Disturbance” in North America, and is all about teens uncovering monstrosities within a graveyard. We decided: close enough, this is the same movie as the fake one within Demons!!!
We paired it with a 50/50 split of Red wine and root beer. Which actually is delicious - it’s essentially Amaro! Wine steeped in barks and botanicals! Just use better wine than Sutter Home, ffs. Don’t forget the wine is half the recipe! And this has the blend of eartiness and bloodiness this movie requires. It’s midly challenging, but frankly delicious - just like a pulpy horror movie.
Ric Dalton Filmography (from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood)
-paired with_
Funky Juice (White Wine + Sprite, from 30 Rock)
Leo Dicaprio plays Ric Dalton, a 60’s / 70’s celebrity actor playing the cowboy in Westerns and Steve McQueen-ish / Alain Delon style mid-life heroic male roles in Euro-trash cinema.
To pair with such Django Poliziotteschi fare, we had to go with the simple pleasure of white wine + Sprite (or 7up, or any lemon-lime soda.) This is as easy drinking as they come, folks. Citrus with citrus, effervesent fizz, sugar, and alcohol. (Fun fact: Red wine + lemon-lime sode is also really, really good. It’s a staple of Spain and called Tinto de Verano!
The Equestrian Vortex (from Berberian Sound Studio)
-paired with-
Tenafly Viper (from Street Trash)
The Equestrian Vortex (brilliant title) is a supposed modern giallo about...witches? Maybe? We see snippets of atmospheric images from the film, and follow the sound designer as he captures scream after scream after scream from female actresses being manipulated by the male producers.
To pair with this movie that seems to be melting the brain of those who work on it, we had to pair it with the Tenafly Viper, a drink that melts the whole person of the person who drinks it. (They melt into “street trash”.)
This is, it should be noted, Decarceration’s fave movie drink. And Street Trash was recently remade in 2024!
Same Shit (from Clouds of Sils Maria)
-paired with_
Vitameatavegamin (from I Love Lucy)
In the slice of life movie starring Juliet Binoche and Kristin Stewart, Juliet has to consider acting beside an up-and-coming young starlett played by Chloe Grace-Moretz and we get to see this incredibly generic looking X-Men riff that is, in an obvious joke title on the poster outside the theater, “Same Shit”. It’s a proper superhero movie from the early 00’s, warts and all.
So we paired this meat and potatoes fake movie with your meat and potatoes and veggie and vitamin and (as Lucy discovers as she continues to drink it) alcohol beverage, Vitameatavegamin. It’s just getting your modern cinematic nutrition in, or so the marketing of the product goes.
Lucas Lee Filmography (from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)
-paired with-
Vesper Martini (from Casino Royale)
Chris Evans plays a thinly veiled version of actor Jason Lee (a skateboarder turned actor.) And his filmography is properly silly 90’s twaddle where Lucas given Zoolander-style action hero facial expressions on every poster.
But the one we need to talka about is this one:
Chris Evans as Lucas Lee plays the lead in a movie called “Snowpiercer” with a speeding train on the poster and the logline “Fight Your Way to the Front!”
This was THREE YEARS before the actual Snowpiercer starring…Chris Evans!!! (And he wasn’t even attached to the project until 2 years later! I checked!)
Now, Snowpiercer is based on a comic book, as is Scott Pilgrim, so that may all be a happy comic book coincidence but holy cow what a coincidence!
Anywho, we had to pair the ultimate fake movie drink with the Lucas Lee filmography - the Vesper Martini from Casino Royale.
Shaken, not stirred (something that no one ever did to a martini pre-Bond) this is what an A-list globe-trotting celebrity would drink, and what any viewer should drink to feel the same larger than life, impossible protagonist energy of a Lucas Lee film.
Whew! That was a lot of fake movies and a lot of fake drinks! We hope you enjoyed this nutter butters 2-part podcast with
, and we hope you follow him over on his incredibly thoughtful Substack:
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